August has only been with us for a few days and yesterday morning onour way to work, Ellis and I both agreed that it was chilly. Not just
normal Scotland in summer chilly, but autumnal. But I don't mind.
I love autumn. It sings to me about new beginnings. Maybe its
years of schooling where the new year started in September. It makes
me want to start something new. Maybe a course or a big, almost
unmanageable project. It makes me want to give someone a bouquet of sharpened pencils, like the line in You've Got Mail, and knit a big chunky sweater.
But Autumn is over a month away and the real change in seasons has
little to do with the weather and more to do with the departure of
friends from our little corner of the world. This weekend, our friend, Ellis' Tantie, moved back to
Edinburgh. Tonight, I am going to Glasgow to say goodbye to my first
friend in Scotland as she moves to America to be with the love of her
life.
Living so far away from family does mean that we rely maybe more heavily on friends, not just for practical help, but for inspiration, laughter, joy and companionship. They are our family and even one moving 40 miles away is a mourned loss and another moving to another country verges on heartbreaking. I wouldn't want them to stay, as I want their happiness more than any of my own selfish desires. I understand that it wasn't so long ago I was the one leaving, so I accept that people need to live their own lives, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.
The only thing that is constant is change, right. You think that as parents we would know that as we watch the beautiful heartbreak that is the unfurling of a small person up close everyday. The world, like the seasons, moves on and we couldn't stop it if we wanted to...and I wouldn't want to, but it doesn't make it any easier.