The kids and Kevin have been ushered out the door this morning and I have an insane list of to dos today- it includes things like booking venues for more Capturing Childhood workshops (yay!), packing kits, ordering supplies, finishing designs , pattern writing and emailing approximately 1,000,000 people . I always have to laugh on days like this - remembering when I used to work in public heath and the civil service and being "just so busy". Oh, if I had only known!! But that same thought brings in waves of gratitude. I did like the jobs, but it wasn't MY work.
And this is. All of it. Sometimes I get so stressed and caught in the details that I forget to be amazed and grateful. Having read a lot about start ups, I know I am in the stage that comes after the adrenaline filled beginning. That point where the business is doing well, but you hit a wall - exhaustion sets in, growth needs to happen, staff need to be hired, but the turnover simple isn;t there to do it and so you push - far beyond the limits of what you thought you were capable of. You do it because it has to be done. There isn't a choice, so you submit and bend yourself to fit the task.
Kevin and I were talking this morning about whether or not we would be where we are without children. I think not. Parenthood has taught us that lesson of bending. How many many times over the last 6 years of motherhood have I wanted to run because it was too hard? Countless. How many times have I wished I could just ignore the middle of the night cries, thinking there was no way I could get out of bed again? How many times have 1 or all of my children pushed me far past the limit of tolerance and to the brink of insanity? A lot more than I would ever admit here. But each time, I have had to dig deeper than I thought I could to do what had to be done. As someone who used to always choose the easy path, this was a lesson I needed to learn so I could stand where I am now. Is it parenting a pre-requisite for everyone running their own business? Of course not, but it was the path I needed to take to get here.
I know that after this dip, things will change again, so all I can do is push through, dig deep and never leave the house without crochet.
And so I will... and try to remember to be grateful as I am ironing 150 labels onto kit bags at 3:30 tomorrow morning.
Photos: peonies from my garden, the perfect yarn for a design (Fyberspates Vivacious), the grey and mustard combination I love (thrifted linen napkins and grey beads). It is amazing how such small things can give so much pleasure.
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if you are local, don't forget to pop by this weekend and next for Open Studios! Ellis is selling lemonade! (oh and there will be crochet on display!)