It's been tough here behind the scenes. After finishing the crowdfunder on such a high in April, we were raring to go. Within hours of the fundings hitting our account, supplies were ordered, contractors lined up, new events scheduled and we jumped into Gartur 2.0 with both feet. I, in particular, felt such a huge responsibility to spend that money well and do the best we could to earn the faith people had put in us. Early mornings and late nights, we worked while juggling all the responsibilities in our lives. Fast forward through lambing, three retreats, 35 goat visits, workshops, courses, oldest child finishing primary school, a family bereavement, Kevin being very unwell and just the work that comes with life, we hit mid July with only 2 days off for the entire year so far. My mom arrived to visit and I essentially collapsed and slept for a week.
I'd burnt out before and knew we were dangerously close to the point of no return. The joy we would normally find in our day to day was hard to see through exhaustion. Ironically, despite being busier than ever, our bottom line was struggling. Namely, I was so tired, I wasn't doing a very good job of telling people about events and workshops on the farm, so we weren't selling out. I wasn't doing as good a job sharing our day to day on the blog and Instagram, so we lost engagement.
The danger of doing what you love, what you are passionate about is that it can consume you...and we didn't want that to happen. So, we reassessed. Rethought where we were going and importantly how we could get there without burning ourselves out completely.