I have been in the worst mood of late. I am grumpy and tired and overwhelmed, which leads me to snap at pretty much every one that crosses my path. My house looks like a bomb has gone off, not helped by the fact that I currently can't get into the laundry room and the counters are stacked with produce I need to do SOMETHING with. My todo list is equally overwhelming, and I am not really sure where to start (and the less we talk about the current state of my email inbox, the better). In previous lives, this would have been the point at which I exit. I would have dreamed up a new life for myself and made it happen - moved, found a new job, started a new business.
Not to say the temptation to do just that isn't huge, there are days where I long to grab my bag, lock the door and start walking. However, this time is different. Maybe its because I have the experience to know that every new life has its downsides and hard bits or maybe its because this life is more me/us than any of the others and there is no leaving it. Or maybe because I know I couldn't take my beloved pig with me on the train (plus, I am not sure he could walk much further than the gate). And so I stay and ride it out.
Because that is the other thing I know - this too shall pass. And in the meanwhile, so what if tomatoes rot on the vine, I have to feed a week's worth of the goat's fresh milk to the chickens, we run out of clean pants and the kids eat cereal for a week's worth of dinners? We are all still alive and we are staying. And that counts for so much.
So, I am off to go grump in a corner, away from the public. If you see me approach with caution and take some tomatoes before they go off.